Once in a life time.

Monday, July 21, 2008 @ 1:15 PM

it hard to understand smth that seem simple...

I need some advice..Please..
I really fallen for him(cyc). I dont noe if i can accept the fact tht he still care and dote on his ex-gf. Seeing him suffering and stress with his problems is the most painful thing. I dont noe if i should continue to be by his side..? should i?
There was times that i just wanted to slap his face to wake him up to reality but how???
Do you know that i love you?
I'm not 100% perfect gerl that you want but my feeling for you are real..
I been trying not to accept you in my heart for the past few months cause i'm afraid of making mistake and hurting everyone..
I'm more afraid of hurting my own heart...
Do you have feelings for me?
If no then why must you treat me real GOOD??
Each tyme u end a conversation say you will called me back again...
And i waited for your called... But you never called back...
Can i hate you? Can you please go away from my heart??

You will be in my heart. But will you stay?

*Smiles*
Each tyme e special ringtone rings i knew that it was you...
And i love the moment when you call.

Something stupid happen yesterday...
We have this so called magic bottle at work. All you need to do is think of a question and shake the bottle and pull a stick out....
i asked a question ytd.. "Will he msg me at exactly 11.00pm(e time i end wrk)?"
the stick keep saying "NO"
But at exactly 11.00pm i received a CALL from him instead...
hahahha
so he nvr msg me but called me instead... my heart feel lyk jumping when his name appeared on my phone...
heehehh
There was one part that he actually angry at me...
he say why i must always msg him early in the morning..
and it really get on his nerve cos he had to wake up when his phone ring and say sometimes he just feel lyk scolding me.... then i was actually sad when he told me that...
so i said okay lor then scold me lah if you want me to msg you...
and he replied you know that i wont scold you ryte?
then i say to him then lyk that i wont msg you animore lor...
after we end our conversation i text him soory and wont text him in e morning animore..
and he say... after eleven then msg him...
:) *will you stay?*

@ 12:40 PM

Why must you treat me gooD??

Hahha finally my off-day...
I'm getting back to my blurry days....(blurry gal)
Seriously i have no idea how i'm suppose to share my feelings with ppl. The only way is for ppl to read my blog cause it much more easier to confess everything here.
On the Last Friday and Saturday, I work over at Suntec City.. :)
The customer there was better than at T3 and my personel sales are okay compared to the T3 where i prefer to say much or less unlucky.
This few days my appetite dies.. As in i can last the whole day with just very LITTLE FOOD in my stomach... I dont know how it happen.

Maybe it true that i get really stress with love. WHat should i do? Should i admit to him that i really really love him...? or should i just keep silence? I dont know...
I'm the one who asked hym to go look for a gf... but each tyme he told me there is a new gerl or any gerl that go find hym... i get SO jealous as in VERY2 jealous..
But why??

If only if i knew what to do?
*smile*

Saturday, July 12, 2008 @ 7:09 PM

Any feelings for me??

Last time, when i didn't msg or called you.. you would called me and get angry and ask why must it always be you who call and msg me first...
You will get angry and start nagging to me... Each tyme you start or end work you will never forget to give me a call and ask where am i? But your concern is getting lesser and you seem to getting further away from me... The harder part is it getting harder to contact with you...
I'm just dont wanna lose you now yet...
I dont feel it the time yet.
Actually i wanted to meet you today for lunch or dinner... usually you dont mind spending at least 30mins to accompany me to eat with you...
There were once when u actually lied and said you havent eat so i took some time down to meet you for lunch. But the fact that you already had your lunch and you lied so that i would come down to meet you... But NOW....
you told me that today is saturday and it might be a very very busy day...
Is it me or are you ignoring me...?
itx so hard to pull you out of my heart now...
Cause i really haven fallen in love with you...
Then again i asked myself...?
Will you care for me like you use to?

Ever Since that incident it really hard to see those smiles on your faces...
I really misses you...
Usually you dont mind me texting you now and then...
but recently you told me u dont like it...
it hurtx....
If i'm going to count your text msg to me eversince the last time i met you...
haix it really hurtful...
u no longer reply my morning and night greeting....
all the only text msg that i received most of the time.... "end work le mah"
or worse "whr ya?"
that'x all...

I'm sorry but i really miss you..
but i dont think you dote and care for me lyk you used to...

@ 6:52 PM

it's hurt alot

Finally i left Gain City...honestly it was really a eye opening for me...
Eventhough i only worked for 4 mths there but i really learned alot... and also much much mature than b4.
I met someone who really touch my heart and stay. Someone who made me difference unlike usually i can easily move on each tume i doesn't want to feel hurt but this time around... I'm really useless... i can't stop thinking of him.. and each time i think of him..( i miss him...)

i just start a new job recently...
i currently working at a shop called Swatch and the outlet at T3..
so please come and visit me sometimes....