Once in a life time.

Friday, November 28, 2008 @ 12:10 AM

itx not fair..

I cant believe what i read and see on your very nick..
Why cant you just say it out to me? Why hide it? i dont care who but i just wanna know...
I can no longer kept this in... how long do you need me? Even there are ppl who told me tht you just playing with me... But i kept telling myself tht i trust and believe you... Ouh please dont make me like a fool...

:(
It hurts to say it out loud.
It hurts more to keep it inside.
Waiting for you to explain everything without me asking.. Why is it so complicated to understand. Why it is so difficult to give me a chance? oh, why? oh why?
Everyone around me is trying to avoid me from being with you..
They want me to stop meeting and thinking of be with you...
They does not want to see me getting hurt..
But why? oh why> Can't you just give yourself a chance to love somebody else..
Oh please oh please... help me to forget you. help me to stop missing you. stop wanting for you..and start treating you e same way i do to my casuall friends...
Each time i'm with...
my heart skip a beat and my mind when empty..
i llost my words... and my humour too...
i cant find things to say to you... but each time i part with you
i just want to turn around and be with you... It seem so much tht i wanted to do...
It seem so much tht i wanted to say to you... even if u just walked 5 step away from me...
i just cant take it to part with you...
Is this e kind of same feeling do you have? Or is this just nothing but ridiculous to you... I dont understand? Am i just being SIlly?
please do give me some sign...

Tuesday, November 25, 2008 @ 7:55 AM

When everything seem fine

Sometimes it hard to apologised for your own mistake it even harder to admit it. At times i just want to know why and how? At times i hope you may say out the things that trouble you... At times i just hope i can be there for you... it doesnt actually matter where and when or how... it only matter to me who and why?

Will you give a chance please? i'm tired of making this kind of accuse myself... i want to know the real story... haix...

When it times to go i'll go...
I reveal this secret to my very best friend which i hope they kept it for me...
I'm tired of following you around... and maybe i should stop for a while... I must control the urge of meeting you... Avoid the feeling of missing you and keep myself occupy...
Haix... Will i be able to do so?....

I always want to meet each and everyday if possible... but that impossible....ryte..
haix...

~it hard to explain things... it hard not to accept things...
~it hurts to know the truth...itx harder not to know it...

@ 6:50 AM

Itx hard to say all out at once.

Last Friday, 211108..
was my Very first time attending D&D for Swarch..
Rating of 3/5...
Itx was okay...so i just briefly say regarding the event..
It was supposed to be E Arabian Night...
But most of us E promoter turn out Casually dress...

Janice(Big Sister), Me, Koko

Tomi(Suntec), SabRina(T3) and we actually miss out of another sister name Idah. She unfeeling well that day...On MC..

This was the part when they have some games among the best female costumes.. ouh ya by the way the one in purple, itx a MALE>... hehee he so supporting..

This picture was taken with our manager..
From left to right...
Johnny,Tomi,Sab,Me,Janice,Patrick(Manager),Paul

The ladies...
Sab, Me, JAnice and kristy....

I had a wonderful day..

Wednesday, November 19, 2008 @ 7:32 AM

Am I blind?

At times i just dont actually get the point what people are trying to say to me...
But sometimes itx good not to understand it...

Is falling in love wrong?
Is being in love wrong?
Is it wrong to love someone who you are clueless if he love you or not?
Well, i manage to get all the answer for that question....
I"m in LOVE for 9months and still deeply in love with him...
I can't take the blame why some people dont get when i want hym...
Cos i'm not sick and tired of hym eventhough it been 9 month...
people say " hiaz, only casual friend mah"
no....So not...
I FINALLY MANAGE TO TELL HYM THAT I TRULLY AND MEAN IT WHEN I TOLD HYM AND I LOVE AND LIKE HYM...
i thought the answer was going to be some hurtful answer but it turn out to be..
"you dont have to tell me also i know, i can feel it"
I can nvr be happy ever.... i dont cared if we are not fated to be together but i'll not stop hoping and stop wishing that you will be mine forever.

Monday, November 17, 2008 @ 1:39 AM

Everything is a MESS

What can you actually expect from your own collegue?
At times you just gave in to them in sense of respect tht they are much much senior then you.. but at times it just get on your nerve to "hit with all you got" kind of thing... It will really make place turn out to be those stressful environment compared to the previous working outlet where you just got to get used to your direct nasty speaking in-charge.. Now that you get used to it.. you suddenly stuck with one Old-Aunty... like OMG... have you ever try telling the elderly that what they did is wrong... They just wont accept the fact that what you just told them is the truth.. Damn Them...
Have you ever wonder why it is SO SO hard to get Someone who you actually Liked?
Well, let's see that because you think you liked them but when the actual fact is that you just lonely and end up anyone who come and appear just in-front of you at e point of time make you realised you like them... So whatever ryte...

Friday, November 14, 2008 @ 8:16 PM

time flies fast when ur friends around

from left to right..
Celeste, Anasyah (me), Rakinah and Helmy...
It was taken on 091108... we were out at Downtown East... times really flies when you were enjoying your time with your dear ones.

At times when my hopes are down and when my love doesn't seem to be around to help me...There they are... giving me the inspiration to be up on my feet again...
They always try their best to cheer me up when i'm down...
But at times i do realised that everyone have their own time and world.

this is e 4 of us in one of the amazing ride...
okay.. me and kinah actually took the inverter 4 times... omg.. i cant believe it man.. it not scary like it looks like... but yes, celeste took it with ue the first round only.. helmy lets just say he have cold feet...
but we took the mini coaster 2 times... but celeste and helmy took it 3 times..
I love the wet and wild... it really a f-k hot day... and itx really nice to get wet...
haix... itx lovely... finally when everything over...
we were on the way back...
that me and celeste...

i miss hym... all the times when i'm out with my friends...
How i wish he will always around during my goods and bad times..

@ 7:23 PM

Lost and Confused

It been ages since i last update this blog... Everyone might just get bored with me since i'm always busy working or lazy around...
Honestly, yes... i'm busy...
At wrk... i always set my mind to hit e sales target that way i can get nice number of commision eventhough my basic salary is already at a pretty sum. But i'm a human who always want more and more.
While all my other friends or ex-school friends are busy at poly and even ITE... ME>> i'm nothing compared to them... i have to go much longer way compared to others...
Currently, i'm making a decision...
i used to thought that i'm able to manage my time wisely. But i guess i'm wrong... i'm unable to do so. I'm going to be 19th in like 8 more months...
January INTAKE is starting very very soon therefore... i decided to welcome back my study mood..
I'm making a decision between this two.... but i'm a fickel minded person so i need help... do help me see for the better...
Choice A or B.
A> Retaking my O'level subject which is only my English N Maths..
B> Skip my retaking o'level and MOVE on to the private Diploma...
so which one is better??